so it has been about two weeks since I have posted anything and it’s because I been caught up with enjoying the last few days in Japan to arriving back home in the states. Lately I am tired and scrambling about moving back to Austin and other paper documents that I don’t feel like thinking about. The only thing that anyone wants to do is just lay down all day.
I am definitely lacking good sleep. Where I am no one ever really lets me sleep well. It is also hot in my room and the light from the window is too strong. I will say that I did get to stay in bed till 2:30 with the exception of people calling me to ask if I was okay because of how late I slept. I just want to freaking sleep with no bother for once. Literally I am laying down “wishing” I could fall asleep.
But I want to get back at consistency. I am pretty drained and where I am right now I lack inspiration and motivation. Even my happiness goes down because of the negative energy in my house. I do have a lot in my mind but what better way to get through it than to write about it for express it in poetry and music.
But hey on a good note…there is internet and cable in this house! After 6-7 years of not having any connection to the cable-interent world, I finally have access.
I only have a week left in my hometown till I move into my new apartment!
So enjoy it while it lasts.
I hate thinking because then you start to fucking hate everything
It sucks pushing away feelings your whole life
Feelings of anything because you had to grow up fast while others had a better time
I had to grow up fast
You don’t understand
whats in the foot
and suddenly stepped on the seed
the burr starts to grow and mold
Times in my mind
been thinking of weeds
It breaks me to hear how others call others
No one hardly ever asks
or even gives a second thought
i am happy when we can all be together
but the waves knock me over
till even the petty thought of acknowledgement
is past my time again
Of course the way I spend my morning is watching the latest YouTube videos. I was watching a video about 20 minutes ago from youtuber lindseyrem and it was about her latest summer playlist. Already from the first artist she mentioned- Puzzle aka an extension of The Garden– I was interested in what else she would mention. The next artist was Temporex
I’ve been looking for a new artist with this type of music. It’s calming,simple, and relaxing. One way I could describe this sound is that it’s rounder, polished in a way. I really enjoyed the song Nice Boys from the album We Care. There is no effort to listen to and it is nice for some background sound and moments of lounging around.
This is a pretty nice find, and I can’t wait to lay back, write, read, and listen to it all summer.
Give it a listen, give music a chance.
Having seen your face brought something than another
Over the time and over the days it never got old
Leading and lending the quiet and exchanges of you and me
Left and looked lovelier than life
I knew that meeting you was finding the clean air to breathe
Everything found a place in time
Songs of the summer make me think of loneliness. In summertime you either do nothing or do NOTHING with you time. You wither have all this money to and take vacation or you’ll being like me where I end up getting stuck at home. And not all vacations require money and going to a different country, sometimes you spend time with other people or you meet up with friends. I remember in my summer days I would just spend them alone in my house. No one would really call me or text me to do anything. Sometimes people would come over but when I think of summer I think of my ROOM because 99 percent of my time was in there. So might as well listen to music and drown in my loneliness and laziness. In a way these summers are different for me. I never like breaks because I find myself stuck alone all the time, and thats because I love being alone. I love being with myself and my music, but it is way better to share it with someone. In this playlist I’ll try to share what I like to listen to and what I have been listening to during the summer. I hope you enjoy!
- Summer Whisper by Tomppabeats
2. Still Beating by Mac Demarco
3. Something Here by Day Wave
Continue reading “Playlist 6: Summer Time Breezes”
So from what I see, I believe that my passport issue will finally work out. I have plans to go to Japan but my only problem was that when I finally got my passport, they misspelled my last name. Yup, of course they would mistake the “C” for and “L”. When I went to the post office it felt really difficult because they didn’t even have an employee that could explain well for what I had to do in order to change my last name. But I ended up getting a form I had to fill out and everything went ok. I had to pay 74 dollars to get the passport expedited so I could get it in time within or less than 2 weeks. Hopefully everything is working out with that issue. When I was paying for the package to be sent the man at the register asked if I was getting married because he was curious as to why I was changing my last name. It is very rare to get forms to change last names. I said I wasn’t changing it, I WAS CORRECTING THEIR MISTAKE. I didn’t say it rude but I was pretty disappointed that my plans get delays over their mistake. If they were unsure they should have checked my birth certificate that had in their hands.
Now, my next plan is to get my military ID and hopefully they could correct my birthday. I am not in the military, my father is and that is the area where we will be saying in Japan, and I need the ID so I am allowed on the base. Stupid people who are in charge of my paper work put the wrong birth month on my ID, so now when I go to the doctors for Insurance it is a very difficult process to get what I need. The only luck I ever had with ID’s is when I did my divers license. The best to decent picture and correct information.
That is what I have been going through. Nothing exciting ever happens around here in my home town, and currently I am using the internet at the local library to speak to you all. This past week has been very draining to my health. Lately I have been having bad stomach pains and eating makes me sick and bloated. I lose my appetite and then I gain it back again. Sometimes I feel very down and incredibly bored in my mothers house and I feel useless and unmotivated at times to write or plan for the blog. Don’t worry, I got back up again. I have been so stressed out here, even more mentally and emotionally stressed than I was In school. I think my summer plans next year will consist of me staying in Austin and perhaps getting a job, travel more with friends and taking trips with my father, and this time we’ll be able to take my boyfriend :). That brings me on another note, it will be a year soon with him, isn’t it crazy how time flies so fast?