I have been thinking about setting a monthly update of where I am at the moment. So here is a new catch up with me.
Honestly, this month has been a downer, not just to me but for people around me. Some of my roommates and friends. Everyone has been facing a hard time and I think it just has to do with the month. Midterms are here and there deadlines for things. There are festivals and concerts happening which I had my share in. There’s stress, there’s homework, sometimes procrastinating and just enough time in a day.
It is everywhere. And sickness too.
Continue reading “October: Where am I, What’s coming up”
For you, you seem alone, and I’ve known many like you
I’ve lived with many like you.
And I feel like you
Till I am not like you
And asked a question of how to see you.
The woven lungs and snowflakes hide the strain
And as you drain
The stains of mental drain is a blood bath
It cleans and gleams on the reflection of my iris
The expectations of the tenderness of skin and meat are so unlikely
It doesn’t tear but rather
They can’t bite the fact that this is what I am
The inedible definitions does not nurture their minds
Its dry and sticky and far from replenish
Swallow my teeth to see if it grows in thier head
And seasons bring the ripest one of all
Till again I am covered in my own blood.
I strive and strive
And after I fake my way
there is still a crack and shapes my mould.
I can only perceive the heat that burns
and ice never seems to clam me down
maybe lavender might do the trick.
And lather it over the bathe
but still the skin cracks
and fills in
Must be from the tears and continued
Hey, so this next song(s) of the week will be…
Tyrant by Kali Uchis
Kali Uchis is a Goddess, I recommend listening to her. She also appears a lot in Tyler The Creators work.
The next song takes us back to the 80s
Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears
Please listen to this song if you really want something good. It is well worth
Let me know if you liked any of these selections. Comment or like below.
Give it a listen, give music a chance.
So I am officially moved in to my apartment with six other people. It really isn’t that all bad. I like everyone and so far things have been good. I am really nervous and excited about school. Im going to be so busy this semester and incredible independent. I feel that this year there is more academic work for me, honestly it is. More reading and writing, which is a good thing. This is a test for my ability and skills and how I will work it all out by myself. But hey, I’ve done it once I can do it again.
I will say…the best thing about this semester is the fact that I have an apartment. It is so much better than living in the dorm. I just got so sick of always being on the campus at all times. I may be only a street away from the campus but it does make a difference.
I have 17 hours of classes, its going to be fukin crazy
But hey, I’m in Austin, one of the best cities. I should have the time for myself. The only thing that I get tired of is walking everywhere and how far it is. But hey, good exercise is a good health mind. Don’t forget that! I am not even sure why I was writing this in the first place. I guess it is just an update of what this week has to offer. My weeks and months are going to consist
Who ever you are, what ever you are doing- I hope that you have great rest of the year. Be it college, work, highschool, home life- whatever applies to you.
so it has been about two weeks since I have posted anything and it’s because I been caught up with enjoying the last few days in Japan to arriving back home in the states. Lately I am tired and scrambling about moving back to Austin and other paper documents that I don’t feel like thinking about. The only thing that anyone wants to do is just lay down all day.
I am definitely lacking good sleep. Where I am no one ever really lets me sleep well. It is also hot in my room and the light from the window is too strong. I will say that I did get to stay in bed till 2:30 with the exception of people calling me to ask if I was okay because of how late I slept. I just want to freaking sleep with no bother for once. Literally I am laying down “wishing” I could fall asleep.
But I want to get back at consistency. I am pretty drained and where I am right now I lack inspiration and motivation. Even my happiness goes down because of the negative energy in my house. I do have a lot in my mind but what better way to get through it than to write about it for express it in poetry and music.
But hey on a good note…there is internet and cable in this house! After 6-7 years of not having any connection to the cable-interent world, I finally have access.
I only have a week left in my hometown till I move into my new apartment!
So enjoy it while it lasts.
I hate thinking because then you start to fucking hate everything
It sucks pushing away feelings your whole life
Feelings of anything because you had to grow up fast while others had a better time
I had to grow up fast
You don’t understand
whats in the foot
and suddenly stepped on the seed
the burr starts to grow and mold
Times in my mind
been thinking of weeds
It breaks me to hear how others call others
No one hardly ever asks
or even gives a second thought
i am happy when we can all be together
but the waves knock me over
till even the petty thought of acknowledgement
is past my time again
Of course the way I spend my morning is watching the latest YouTube videos. I was watching a video about 20 minutes ago from youtuber lindseyrem and it was about her latest summer playlist. Already from the first artist she mentioned- Puzzle aka an extension of The Garden– I was interested in what else she would mention. The next artist was Temporex
I’ve been looking for a new artist with this type of music. It’s calming,simple, and relaxing. One way I could describe this sound is that it’s rounder, polished in a way. I really enjoyed the song Nice Boys from the album We Care. There is no effort to listen to and it is nice for some background sound and moments of lounging around.
This is a pretty nice find, and I can’t wait to lay back, write, read, and listen to it all summer.
Give it a listen, give music a chance.
Having seen your face brought something than another
Over the time and over the days it never got old
Leading and lending the quiet and exchanges of you and me
Left and looked lovelier than life
I knew that meeting you was finding the clean air to breathe
Everything found a place in time
Songs of the summer make me think of loneliness. In summertime you either do nothing or do NOTHING with you time. You wither have all this money to and take vacation or you’ll being like me where I end up getting stuck at home. And not all vacations require money and going to a different country, sometimes you spend time with other people or you meet up with friends. I remember in my summer days I would just spend them alone in my house. No one would really call me or text me to do anything. Sometimes people would come over but when I think of summer I think of my ROOM because 99 percent of my time was in there. So might as well listen to music and drown in my loneliness and laziness. In a way these summers are different for me. I never like breaks because I find myself stuck alone all the time, and thats because I love being alone. I love being with myself and my music, but it is way better to share it with someone. In this playlist I’ll try to share what I like to listen to and what I have been listening to during the summer. I hope you enjoy!
- Summer Whisper by Tomppabeats
2. Still Beating by Mac Demarco
3. Something Here by Day Wave
Continue reading “Playlist 6: Summer Time Breezes”