Maybe

Maybe

A sad poem about conversations, just something I observed and a character formed.

 

Maybe if I’m still enough

I can float on conversations.

Maybe when there’s an opportunity

I won’t wait.

Maybe if I didn’t judge too hard

on myself, I’d talk in fragments.

Maybe if I start talking about what everyone likes

Maybe they’ll like me too?

 

H

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Sumnerr Playlist

Sumnerr Playlist

It might be too late to have a summer playlist but I wanted to share the songs that my summer consisted. Some of these are new faves others are old faves. Since I made a playlist I won’t do a Songs of The Week.

(playlist will change by the addition of songs)

Add Rock Bottom by King Krule. So sad its not on Spotify. But it still slaps πŸ™‚

Give it a listen!! For more playlists go check out my spotify here.

Give it a listen, give music a chance.

H

I made a short song

Hello everyone, I made a short song from a poem I wrote. It’s just a demo of it so it’s not a finished product. I decided to play some chords and sing the poem as it came to me. It’s not the greatest but I like it and I hope to make it into a fuller song. Check it out on my SoundCloud Now!

 

– Men in Bikinis Women in Speedos –

Right words in the mouth

take the chance to make it out.

Making out to better times

brings the cool out of you.

What is right is right as gold,

who would like to try?

The sun is fun the moon brings tide,

to wash away, our guilt of the night.

 

H

Where this Flower Blooms

Where this Flower Blooms

Back from traveling, body image, thoughtsΒ Β 

It has been a little more than a week since I’ve posted anything on my blog. Honestly, I’m tired. My trip took a lot of energy out of me and I decided to take a break for a bit. Get in tune with what to plan for the next posts and videos I want to do. My head always swarms with thoughts and ideas that its hard to figure out what I want to do and when I want to do it.

Being back in the states is so nice. I wasn’t sure if I was going to feel homesick at all but I was extremely homesick,Β up to a point where I was getting stressed out about it. Don’t get me wrong, I loved traveling and exploring new places and trying new things. I had a wonderful experience and I wish and hope that other people get to experience it in their own lives.

…..

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I look. Like a lot. During the vacation, I was constantly asked about my age and the fact that I don’t look like my own ethnicity. Everyone thought I was at least 3 or 4 years younger than my real age and that I looked Indian because of my nose ring and I guess the combination of my hair and my skin color. That got me thinking and feeling a lot more self-conscious about my appearance. I think I dress okay, I don’t wear a lot of makeup and I don’t do my hair that often.I’m 5’1 so that doesn’t help the problem.

But why is this a problem in the first place?

Let me just say, if you want to comment on my age around a time in my life that I am literally a young adult, please don’t. It does not make sense to tell a 20-year old that they look so young, wait till I’m 40.

Not only is this about age, but the physical appearance and my own battle of beauty do take a toll on me. Sometimes I wish I was older looking, that I was taller with a bigger butt, or that my hair can naturally be perfect when I wake up. Or if my nose didn’t have a bump in it or that my head wasn’t so tiny. These are terrible thoughts,

I stop myself and think, as cheesy as it sounds: You look badass

Because I do, we all do. I heard someone say, youΒ shouldn’t change who you are you should grow.Β That is the answer.

Growing is so important. I am not the person who I was 2 years ago. Honestly, I’m anxious, scared, aware- but I’m alive and happier. I feel so beautiful. This time in my life is the best I’ve ever looked. My brother told me that every time I visit it looks like I’ve glowed up since the last time. That compliment stuck with me because he noticed the change. It made me realize growth.

We always worry about how we look, how we sound, how we are. It’s inevitable. Even if I do love and accept myself that does not tear away the factor that I can be sad, I can be unhappy, tired, and not my best. Everyone has their limits to what they can feel. Don’t blame yourself for the unwanted feeling of unhappiness. It’s okay to fall down an get hurt, but you have to get back up and continue. Take your time and grow. Change can be stagnant. We all know that growth comes with change and continuous development.

I wanted to put these words out here for myself and for others. I’ve been having a hard time understanding certain emotions I’ve been feeling and I want to break out of it. I hope I made sense and if not, just imagine that this is from my own personal journal. Journals never make sense.

I’m back now, ready for the last month of summer! Also, I want to try a new look for my Instagram;Β  picture concepts, Videos provided, maybe some new songs I’ve been contemplating. I will have my weekly Songs of the Week, I didn’t forget πŸ˜‰

 

H