I have been circling a question through my head. It is the one question that we all face in our coming adult years. What do you want to do?
That question can apply to a lot of meanings. What do you want to do right now? What do you want to do in four years? What do you want to do with yourself?
What do you want to BE?
I do and do not have an answer to that question. All that I know is that I want to be doing something what is from my decision. I want to be able to give myself my own options and I am thinking through a college perspective. I want an apartment, I want to have money or some sort of income, I want an internship, and I want a career that I picked. And so far I am currently working on those things.
The reason why I am writing about this now is because today I got an email from professor I won’t no loner have since I changed my major. So I had to explain to them that I was not going to do their class again for this fall. I also had a talk to my boyfriend about what he wants to do after the four years. Whether or not to do another career choice added on to what he already wants to do.
And that made me think.
What do I want to do when I get to that point of my life?
Right now I changed to be only a English Major. I also added a teaching certificate for the future. But now that I think about it I don’t want to get that certificate and be done with my career. I want to WRITE. I love to write so much and I want to write books. I just don’t know what or where to start. I love poetry but I also want to practice my prose. Not only do I want to be a creative writer but I also want to be a versatile one, where I can write articles and express opinions and issues and reviews. I want to be the best I can be at writing. It is my own way of express and enjoyment of who I am as a person, what my voice is trying to say.
I do and I don’t know what is going to happen.
But I do know that what I’m doing now I want to work hard at it.
What do you think? Where do you think you are in your life? Do you know what you want to do?
Much Love and Support
I hate thinking because then you start to fucking hate everything
It sucks pushing away feelings your whole life
Feelings of anything because you had to grow up fast while others had a better time
I had to grow up fast
You don’t understand
whats in the foot
and suddenly stepped on the seed
the burr starts to grow and mold
Times in my mind
been thinking of weeds
You make me better, you make it easy
before the kisses
even the voice
or thought of you
is as juicy and sweet
i sing a song for you baby
It breaks me to hear how others call others
No one hardly ever asks
or even gives a second thought
i am happy when we can all be together
but the waves knock me over
till even the petty thought of acknowledgement
is past my time again
Excitement of changing-
experiencing some new air
You have me so use me wisely, because most of the time I’m forgotten in the bottom
Bitter I may be and fresh, thumb my head till I shed even.
Zesting perfectly till you can taste me again.
I wish I could sleep
To the dews perspective lasts
And travels to end
Dreams of how wrong it is to dream
Over and under my head just keeps thoughts warm
Never deny what you don’t see
Because murmurs in your sleep don’t compare
In a state of unconsciousness is the peaceful reminder
Not only can you breathe
But I can too
Finally the sun fades in the summer heat
It is out of the question how day is night
Let me know about your day and I’ll tell you about mine
Words are inside out and upside down between teeth and finger
I am tired and so are you, we sleep
Having seen your face brought something than another
Over the time and over the days it never got old
Leading and lending the quiet and exchanges of you and me
Left and looked lovelier than life
I knew that meeting you was finding the clean air to breathe
Everything found a place in time
Day 27: A song that breaks your heart.
Bookends Theme-Reprise by Simon and Garfunkle
Ladies and Gentleman We are Floating In Space by Spiritualized
This is me and my mom’s sad song, it also appears in the movie Vanilla Sky which I have mentioned before.
The Only Living Boy In New York by Simon and Garfunkle
Heroes by David Bowie
This always makes me want to cry, it hurts so much to listen to this.
Give it a listen, give music a chance.