Playlist 3: The Way I Feel Inside

 

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Since a ‘special’ day is on its way, here is a a playlist of ‘love’ songs. February can be a month of sadness, pain, love but music can always be a sanctuary and temple for our feelings. Here are some great songs that I hope you enjoy as much as I did. If I could I would put way more than I have here, but I want to save some songs before showing them.

H

 

The Way I Feel Inside by The Zombies

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Books

One fact about me is that I love to read. Reading is one of the things I can not give up. Not most people like to read and that is a position that I fully understand. I mean, if you were here that must mean that you obviously like to read. Or maybe tolerate it. Im not trying to write a novel to you, but only to get my words out.

Back to books. Again I love to read. It helps me forget about the day and destress, same as writing my day away. I get to learn new things, hear from peoples perspectives, go to new places, or be inspired. I believe the last time I read a full book was maybe about a month ago, however it does not count as a novel since it was a poetry book. Speaking of poetry, I have been toying with the idea of expanding my knowledge of poetry writing and structure and in deep need to find new poetry books. The class I am taking has so far been using a lot of poetry context and exercise and has helped me write again by analyzing.

Here are some of the books I have been enjoying or enjoyed, some I have not finished yet. (A bad habit of mine)

*none are in any particular order*

  1. Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

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A very very popular book, you can see a bunch of twitter posts of some of these pages. It is a very short read, which can be done it about one sitting. A collection and journey of Kaur’s prose and poetry about suffering, love, and healing. Very beautiful small book for a short read but powerful quotes and outlooks.

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🌸Noname🌸

Noname is a new artist I was recommended to listen to. I love listening to female hip hop/rapper artists. She is a an American Poet and Hip Hop Artist and Telefone is her first mixed tape released in 2016. I remember that it was a about two weeks ago I was told about her and I forgot all about it. I’m glad I found it again and I can finally listened to a new album. I always having a craving and urge to listen to new music and make it a point to share it with other people. Music is a part of my life and it’s a personal goal or ‘habit’ to expand my knowledge of artists. Especially of artists that are talented and need to be heard. Hope you enjoy…

H

 

 

Playlist 2: Mac and Cigs

Here is a playlist of my personal Favorite Mac Demarco songs (although I like all of his songs). I started listening to him around last June and was instantly hooked with his “Jizz Jazz” vibes. It’s pretty sad that I came late to the party, but at least I made it. I can gladly say that he is one of my favorite artists, his songs are nice to listen too and always puts me at ease and a better mood. *Another one of my favorite quality of this artist is his process of writing a music, he writes music because it makes him happy. When he records his albums he does it completely on his own. He plays all of the instruments, and records his songs in his home.

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Emotional Tidal Wave

These past few months have been difficult…

Well I thought everything was doing okay for me. Until I started to experience feelings that I never knew I had. These were emotions that I never thought I had the extent of. I had fear, loneliness, frustration, worry, sadness…
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and it keeps going on..I would push the fact that I had these feelings because I have always deal with them. And since I started living alone in austin, it thats when I came aquatinted with what I was feeling. I was not as happy with what I was doing in college, and also my performance in my classes. Especially my music classes, which scared me. I would question myself over and over, Was I good enough? I felt small and I am literally small. I felt horrible somedays, and other days I felt okay. But I started experiencing small moments of panic attacks which have never happened to me. I would get them even at the times I would try to make myself feel relaxed. But they would always come back to me, at the moments I wanted to be happy. I wouldn’t let myself be happy. My mind would stop me. And I have grown to sick of myself for feeling that way. No one should feel unhappy.

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Hello (Again) my Birdies

Starting the New Year 2017…

HELLO!

Its me again and I am back from a semester of, college. I am currently on Christmas break so the dread of college is coming up. And it was a very schooling experience. Nothing bad happened but I found myself in a hole.

Being a Music major and having crazy hours everyday and homework and practice, money, what I’m eating that day, staying healthy, being myself, or being happy. Which was a very difficult asset to incorporate in my daily life. I wasn’t miserable but I did have hard moments and there was always that special person in my life that helped me through it.

Honestly 2016 has been one of my most life changing years ever. So many people I’ve lost, many new wonderful people I’ve met. A new music kaleidoscope and movie experience. A special person now in my life. So many tears and fears that I had and still have. College career not up to expectation ( so I’ve added English, which might be explained in another post). And a jump of mixed emotions that I could not handle that not many people know I’ve gone through (another post). Even getting older was something so new and quickly done. And it makes me wonder how time and people lose themselves.

I’ve also had the struggle of being inspired. I lost that spark once I started college, which should not happen especially with a creative career of a vocalist. But I got up through the Christmas break and told myself that I need to start writing again. Go back to poetry and reading novels, write a song for once! And slowly gradually I’m going to start picking up my limp mind. For a while I’ve been feeling that I’ve gained 10lbs of low selfesteem.

I hate that part of me. The unsocialable moody being. Who always worries about what everyone thinks.

But I got an idea.

Something that I’ve always wanted to do

I wanted to start writing a poetry series on the people I’ve met and know. My family, friends, and mentors. And about myself, how my mind works and how I truely feel. Yes this isn’t something new and original becaus I bet people write all the time, that doesn’t mean I won’t write for myself and my happiness. I will Also be presenting a playlist of themes of music and such. This is something I want to do because it is something I love. Something I need to work on. A drive to get me back in the mood. Consistency is something I’ve always struggled with, by many people know that I procrastinate and never get things done. I lose the spark, or inspiration.

Problem is, I forget I’m doing it because I love to. Not because I have too.

Always do something you love because you want to, not because people expect it of you.

Thanks for reading! Stay if you want. Don’t give a shit of what people think of you. And you’ll probabaly be seeing me a bit more often. Maybe _(:з」∠)_

Jk you will💖

The ever-changing Future

It is coming to a point in my life where things are actually turning out for a difference. And I’m really scared of what is waiting for me in Austin. I feel, that sometimes I am not ready for that like. Thoughts run throughly head, like…

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  • who am I rooming with?
  • what will I eat
  • where will I stay
  • will I make friends
  • will I still see my friends?
  • will I be safe?
  • will I have enough money?
  • will I know my way around?

and another one stuck in my head is

Will I like it?

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MATILDA: Da baby puppy 

So… I have a puppy and her name is Matilda. She is currently six months right now and is a huge hassle to handle sometimes.

She is a black pug and was the only one out of the litter to survive.


The reason why I named her Matilda is because of the movie Leon the Professional. And I find it funny how the character in the movie fits well with my dog. Little and feisty!

She was born in September and I received her on Thanksgiving in 2015. And it’s been so busy with her. It’s hard at times to watch her because I am always busy or outside of the house. I feel bad all the time when I can’t watch her or enjoy being with her because she never stops moving. But she sure does love the out doors and playing, she still bites so I need to take that habit away.

Funny thing is, she does not like to be pet on the head. It takes forever to get her calm and comfortable to let you pet her head. Most of the time she tries to bite you! She not mean or anything, pugs are naturally hyper all the time. I know Matilda is just hyped on love and excitement and is to young to know any better.

But! Work is still needed to be done with her. So far she can obey some thing but I want her to grown to where she’ll be calm enough to walk around the house.

She’s my little Swiss chocolate roll, and I love her.

Wish me luck on keeping her calm! 🐥

Paper Swan

When born we are folded

Into creases

From stillness

This time crumbled in your

Dirty hands, cradled

Smoothing out

Paper and brittle I soar, barely

Sorry if I don’t stand

Just help me

Lean me against

You

Or another one

Creamy with texture

Slender and exquisite

Clone.

We are only children

But without rain

Crease or crumble

I will soar .

 

H

About Me

Hi my name is Hollie

I attend The University of Texas at Austin. I’m a music loving, film buff, smart ass,bookworm, baby fruit. I enjoy writing, reading, art, running, anything that makes me happy. I also really love candy.

So see more of me and my semi-adventures of my life about to begin. Stay we got Music, Poetry, People. Things to keep you interested.
Not much might happen now, but you never know!

Twitter @hollie_cira

Instagram @holliesongbird

Bye! 🐥

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