Hey, Where You Been?

Hello Everyone,

so it has been about two weeks since I have posted anything and it’s because I been caught up with enjoying the last few days in Japan to arriving back home in the states. Lately I am tired and scrambling about moving back to Austin and other paper documents that I don’t feel like thinking about. The only thing that anyone wants to do is just lay down all day.

I am definitely lacking good sleep. Where I am no one ever really lets me sleep well. It is also hot in my room and the light from the window is too strong. I will say that I did get to stay in bed till 2:30 with the exception of people calling me to ask if I was okay because of how late I slept. I just want to freaking sleep with no bother for once. Literally I am laying down “wishing” I could fall asleep.

But I want to get back at consistency. I am pretty drained and where I am right now I lack inspiration and motivation. Even my happiness goes down because of the negative energy in my house. I do have a lot in my mind but what better way to get through it than to write about it for express it in poetry and music.

But hey on a good note…there is internet and cable in this house! After 6-7 years of not having any connection to the cable-interent world, I finally have access.

Funny though…

I only have a week left in my hometown till I move into my new apartment!

So enjoy it while it lasts.

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H

 

Okinawa World

Hello!

My morning/night was pretty weird I kept waking up and I think I may have gone through sleep paralysis. It actually happened twice that night. I ended up waking at 8:30 and around 11:40 we were all dressed and ready to go start the day at Okinawa World! Okinawa world is a theme park that explores Okinawa’s culture and showcases a snake show and even and underground natural cave. They had a bunch of little shops and areas to get food and refreshments. They had glass blowing, brewery, jewelry, fresh fruits market, and clothing-some even died from natural sugar cane stalks.

One thing that was common was that I was extremely hot and sweaty. The weather of course is very humid, but at one point the temperature dropped and it started raining. Luckily I was under a tarp watching a show of some rational dancers and singers. At one point one of the performers brought me up to the stage and made me inmate their dance until by my surprise I was bitten by the ancient Shisa Dog, known that a bite gives good lucky in your life. It was so nerve racking and surprising that I felt like I was going to stumble. I wish I could have gotten picture of that performance but we were allowed to take pictures of the main show. But I did take pictures of a lot of other things I saw.

These are some of the pictures I took in the cave


It was really nice to be underground in the cave. When you walked in the air felt cooler and all of the marble was dripping cool water everywhere you went. The whole place was damp and you would need to be extra careful where you stepped so you would not fall into the rocks or water. It felt so much better than being up top in the hotbox weather. After the cave we went up and looked around all of the little shops. I didn’t buy anything because tomorrow we’re are going to Kokusai street where there is a bunch of shops and things similar to what was in Okinawa World.

Here are some other pictures of me being a goof

Today was really amazing and eventful, I could not believe what I was seeing. It still seems very surreal to me, which is why I taken so many pictures, even pictures of myself to believe that I really was there.

If you like this post give it a like or comment, If you wish to see something poetry or music related please let me know! I want to write for all of you! Let me know how your summers are going! I wish every one a Good Morning, a Good Evening, and a Goodnight!

H

 

 

WHERE AM I?

I am currently in Okinawa, Japan!

It has been a few days since I have posted anything but in my defense it’s been a tiring trip going from Texas to Japan. So in reality I am a day ahead than those in certain part of the United States, usually my fellow Texans!

The plane ride wasn’t too bad, but I will say it was extremely tiring. Just thinking about it makes me feel tired. I watched a lot of movies and tv shows and I slept some of the way. One of the flights was 12 hours, from Dallas to Tokyo. Arriving in the Tokyo Air port was so nerve racking! I had no idea where to go or what to go. But I managed to make it through by following signs and people. I got my first stamp on my passport! So I hopped on to another flight to Okinawa which took about 2 hours and a half. I felt so weird and tired, especially because of the time change. Also, I was sweating so much from the humidity.

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This was the TV that I had for myself. But plane ride was still really tiring. But at least I got threes meals! The bathroom was right behind me which I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not. People always got up to go to the restroom, but I never had to get in a line because of my quick access.

So far it has been completely surreal with that I am seeing and experiencing. Theres so much to see and so much to do. I can’t wait to explore more and more of this beautiful place. It has been one of my dreams to go to Japan, now I can cross it off my list. This trips makes me so excited to plan other trips in the future.

These are some pictures from my first full day

I hope everyone is having a great and safe summer! I will post more of my adventures and such! For more pictures go check out my Instagram with the same name as the site. Here is one last picture of me by the water at a place called American Village!

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H

 

Life Update

Last time I talked It was about my travel and passport issues. There is good news! I got my passport corrected and I also got a refund from the government for their mistake! I talked to my dad about when to set a date for travel and we decided on July 10, which is surprisingly close. In exactly one week until I board a plane with about four transfers. It is really nerve racking but exciting at the same time. It is finally going to happen and I can’t believe. I have no other words to describe how I’m feeling. It does feel surreal.

The summer so far has been uneventful and honestly I can not wait until school starts. Summer makes me feel sluggish, tired, and unproductive. I don’t think I can stand not having work to do or walking around campus. I have been afraid lately that I would gain weight during the summer, but I think I have actually lost weight because of the lack of eating. Don’t worry, I’m okay! I normally don’t eat as much, but being stuck in a house with no much food is part of the problem.

On another point of new news is I got a hair cut. I did something I told myself I wouldn’t do which is BANGS. I got good compliments so I think they aren’t that bad. I just can’t wait till my hair gets longer, I always end up cutting it or trimming or picking a new style. I vow to not cut again and to wait out the waylay hair will grow. Although I like my new cut, I don’t like having to do my hair in the morning. Literally in my situation and layered hair, I can not have slept in hair unless it’s in a bun or pony tail. I should invest in some hair softener…

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Besides that everything is changing a bit in my life. Some personal things I am going through. Having hard times and emotions are rolling over me. Sometimes it is really difficult but I try to look for the good, or I drown it out by listening to music. The usual fixes.

I hope everyones summer is going great!

H

🍅 Catch Up With Me 🍅

Hello…

So from what I see, I believe that my passport issue will finally work out. I have plans to go to Japan but my only problem was that when I finally got my passport, they misspelled my last name. Yup, of course they would mistake the “C” for and “L”. When I went to the post office it felt really difficult because they didn’t even have an employee that could explain well for what I had to do in order to change my last name. But I ended up getting a form I had to fill out and everything went ok. I had to pay 74 dollars to get the passport expedited so I could get it in time within or less than 2 weeks. Hopefully everything is working out with that issue. When I was paying for the package to be sent the man at the register asked if I was getting married because he was curious as to why I was changing my last name. It is very rare to get forms to change last names. I said I wasn’t changing it, I WAS CORRECTING THEIR MISTAKE. I didn’t say it rude but I was pretty disappointed that my plans get delays over their mistake. If they were unsure they should have checked my birth certificate that had in their hands.

Now, my next plan is to get my military ID and hopefully they could correct my birthday. I am not in the military, my father is and that is the area where we will be saying in Japan, and I need the ID so I am allowed on the base. Stupid people who are in charge of my paper work put the wrong birth month on my ID, so now when I go to the doctors for Insurance it is a very difficult process to get what I need. The only luck I ever had with ID’s is when I did my divers license. The best to decent picture and correct information.

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That is what I have been going through. Nothing exciting ever happens around here in my home town, and currently I am using the internet at the local library to speak to you all. This past week has been very draining to my health. Lately I have been having bad stomach pains and eating makes me sick and bloated. I lose my appetite and then I gain it back again. Sometimes I feel very down and incredibly bored in my mothers house and I feel useless and unmotivated at times to write or plan for the blog. Don’t worry, I got back up again. I have been so stressed out here, even more mentally and emotionally stressed than I was In school. I think my summer plans next year will consist of me staying in Austin and perhaps getting a job, travel more with friends and taking trips with my father, and this time we’ll be able to take my boyfriend :). That brings me on another note, it will be a year soon with him, isn’t it crazy how time flies so fast?

H

☀️🌿Summer Plans 🌿☀️

Hello everyone! I am sorry I have not been posting and my previous post was in a different format, I so not have good reception back in my home town and no internet or cable since we can afford it. That is one thing I miss about being on my own in Austin, I had the access to internet and walking distance to places. I’m from a small town and pretty much it is boring. It is peoples goals and plans to move away from here since it completely sucks being here. But all my family is here and friends and I missed them so much.

But I have some plans for the summer, while most might go to summer school or get a job… I am planning to go to Japan around June 24th to visit my father and his wife!!! This is a very big thing for me, I have not been out of the country and I feel this would be such an amazing experience. I believe I should be there for three weeks. Of course when I’m there I will have access to internet and I will be able to tell you all about the things I see there and do there while I’m on vacation. I will try to also talk about music and new albums I’ve been listening to. I’ve listened to over five albums and I want to really listen to them that way I can tell you how they really are and my recommendations from it. I will also be really a lot of novels and I already have a few in mind to talk about. And of course poetry and playlists should happen too.

Again! I am sorry I have not been posting as  much, since it is not under my control. But I will try my best to make sure to get signal to post through my phone. I hope everyone is having a great summer and I’ll try to compose a summer playlist soon! 

Thanks Guys! 

H

☀️JMBLYA☀️

ARE YOU READYY FOR YOUR BLESSINGGGS???

This past weekend I went to the JMBLYA festival to she Chance the The Rapper. This was one of the greatest weekends I have ever had. It was actually one of the longest weekends I have had and the Friday was the last day I had classes. Which I was not able to go to any of them for certain reasons. Anyway, this weekend was extremely eventful, which is the reason why I could not write or post anything these past days. Most of the time we stayed up until 3. My body would wake up at 9:50 am every new day, which was very weird considering that we stayed up so late

On Friday my boyfriends sister’s,friends, and cousins all came to Austin to take us to the JMBLYA festival. JMBLYA (jambalaya) is a festival where all artists derive from hip-hop, rap,and EDM music. Honestly, I did not know any of these artists except for Chance the Rapper. But I feel that this festival gave me an opportunity to listen to new music and artists from this genre.

Here is the Line Up

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Continue reading “☀️JMBLYA☀️”

Ketchup with Me

It is currently the last month of the spring semester. All I can think about is how I want it to end as soon as possible. I feel that my brain has been fried and I am incapable to have any kind focus or direction to my work or study.

But these two months have been very interesting and sort of uneventful. Besides spring break which- as always-is nothing much to talk about. Home life is very awkward at the moment, but I feel that things have worked out. I spent my time with family.

Usually I spend my days (when I have free time), listening to music, reading or making music. Recently I bought myself a Novation Launchkey Mini, so I can’t start leaning some music software and sampling. At first hand it was pretty overwhelming with so many buttons and affects on the Ableton music software, but slowly I learned to actually have control using my Launchkey mini. It’s a working and learning process and I look forward to it.

I have been in a rut. And like all young adults we have a crisis, or a moment when we feel alone. I always feel like that. It hasn’t been till recent that I realized that I am unhappy sometimes. I don’t want to say all the time but I also don’t want to say sometimes. Because it’s in a sweet spot. When sometimes everything feels really shitty and then it turns out ok in the end. That is actually 95% true:

Things will turn out okay in the end, they always have, and you always find a way

But yes- I have this dilemma of trying to not worry about everything in my life. I should be happy and I am. I am happy, sometimes things get hard and its okay to feel angry about it. But hey! There is so many amazing things to be thankful for!

And thats what you should list out, mark out, write about, reflect about. For Instance, I am thankful for:

  1. Being able to listen to music, any kind of music I like.
  2. Watching or having amazing movies that have scenes in it that move my heart
  3. Being able to eat chocolate because its so freaking delicious.
  4. Getting a phone call yesterday from my brother telling me he misses me and loves me.
  5. Hugs from my boyfriend
  6. Being able to eat things that I like or want
  7. Writing in my journal
  8. Finally laying down on my bed
  9. Music videos and youtube videos
  10. New music releases
  11. Having decisions and choices
  12. Getting new books
  13. Making music and learning something new on the piano
  14. I got through today

My list may not be as great, but it makes me happy and that is all that matters. I want to be able to explore and do things that I love to do. I want to create, experience, meet new people, and not have to worry about every possible thing that could ruin the moment.

Because feeling happy only happens if you relax and let things happen.

Not saying to not give effort. You must always give effort if you life. I feel lonely, a lot. I long to be involved and included and together. But I have my own personal problem that I need to get over. Im not in my past life anymore, I am an adult and I get to be who I want to be in this new environment.

I do have goals. YES, it is very important to have goals in something. You end up evaluating yourself and what kind of mindset and position your future you wants to have. So set up a list go goals. GO AHEAD! RIGHT NOT! I’ll even do it too.(which I won’t show you now) But anyway…

Thats what is happening with me at the moment. Just big sloppy mess of everything. But it’s okay, were all human, looking for some kind of piece of mind.

(apologize that this has no structure and my ideas jump everywhere)

Have a wonderful week! Go take a nap or eat some candy or something.

H

 

YouTube Videos

My main form of “social media” would be Youtube. I can be on the app or on my computer for hours and hours and waste my time watching videos instead of doing actual work. I love to watch You Tube videos, and I usually watch them for inspiration for writing or creativity. I feel that being on twitter and Instagram is okay, but I like to see peoples effort and production into something they love like creating videos and content for people to watch and enjoy. I wish I could create something like a youtube channel, at one time I wanted to but of course I forget or I get lazy. I mean who knows, maybe someday I might start making videos. In like a 100 years.

For now I’ll stick to writing.

But here are some of my favorite youtubers or youtube videos that I like to watch. None are in any particular order because I could not possibility rate all my faves!

H

Youtubers:

  1. Megan Batoon

Continue reading “YouTube Videos”

Emotional Tidal Wave

These past few months have been difficult…

Well I thought everything was doing okay for me. Until I started to experience feelings that I never knew I had. These were emotions that I never thought I had the extent of. I had fear, loneliness, frustration, worry, sadness…
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and it keeps going on..I would push the fact that I had these feelings because I have always deal with them. And since I started living alone in austin, it thats when I came aquatinted with what I was feeling. I was not as happy with what I was doing in college, and also my performance in my classes. Especially my music classes, which scared me. I would question myself over and over, Was I good enough? I felt small and I am literally small. I felt horrible somedays, and other days I felt okay. But I started experiencing small moments of panic attacks which have never happened to me. I would get them even at the times I would try to make myself feel relaxed. But they would always come back to me, at the moments I wanted to be happy. I wouldn’t let myself be happy. My mind would stop me. And I have grown to sick of myself for feeling that way. No one should feel unhappy.

Continue reading “Emotional Tidal Wave”

Hello (Again) my Birdies

Starting the New Year 2017…

HELLO!

Its me again and I am back from a semester of, college. I am currently on Christmas break so the dread of college is coming up. And it was a very schooling experience. Nothing bad happened but I found myself in a hole.

Being a Music major and having crazy hours everyday and homework and practice, money, what I’m eating that day, staying healthy, being myself, or being happy. Which was a very difficult asset to incorporate in my daily life. I wasn’t miserable but I did have hard moments and there was always that special person in my life that helped me through it.

Honestly 2016 has been one of my most life changing years ever. So many people I’ve lost, many new wonderful people I’ve met. A new music kaleidoscope and movie experience. A special person now in my life. So many tears and fears that I had and still have. College career not up to expectation ( so I’ve added English, which might be explained in another post). And a jump of mixed emotions that I could not handle that not many people know I’ve gone through (another post). Even getting older was something so new and quickly done. And it makes me wonder how time and people lose themselves.

I’ve also had the struggle of being inspired. I lost that spark once I started college, which should not happen especially with a creative career of a vocalist. But I got up through the Christmas break and told myself that I need to start writing again. Go back to poetry and reading novels, write a song for once! And slowly gradually I’m going to start picking up my limp mind. For a while I’ve been feeling that I’ve gained 10lbs of low selfesteem.

I hate that part of me. The unsocialable moody being. Who always worries about what everyone thinks.

But I got an idea.

Something that I’ve always wanted to do

I wanted to start writing a poetry series on the people I’ve met and know. My family, friends, and mentors. And about myself, how my mind works and how I truely feel. Yes this isn’t something new and original becaus I bet people write all the time, that doesn’t mean I won’t write for myself and my happiness. I will Also be presenting a playlist of themes of music and such. This is something I want to do because it is something I love. Something I need to work on. A drive to get me back in the mood. Consistency is something I’ve always struggled with, by many people know that I procrastinate and never get things done. I lose the spark, or inspiration.

Problem is, I forget I’m doing it because I love to. Not because I have too.

Always do something you love because you want to, not because people expect it of you.

Thanks for reading! Stay if you want. Don’t give a shit of what people think of you. And you’ll probabaly be seeing me a bit more often. Maybe _(:з」∠)_

Jk you will💖