I have been circling a question through my head. It is the one question that we all face in our coming adult years. What do you want to do?
That question can apply to a lot of meanings. What do you want to do right now? What do you want to do in four years? What do you want to do with yourself?
What do you want to BE?
I do and do not have an answer to that question. All that I know is that I want to be doing something what is from my decision. I want to be able to give myself my own options and I am thinking through a college perspective. I want an apartment, I want to have money or some sort of income, I want an internship, and I want a career that I picked. And so far I am currently working on those things.
The reason why I am writing about this now is because today I got an email from professor I won’t no loner have since I changed my major. So I had to explain to them that I was not going to do their class again for this fall. I also had a talk to my boyfriend about what he wants to do after the four years. Whether or not to do another career choice added on to what he already wants to do.
And that made me think.
What do I want to do when I get to that point of my life?
Right now I changed to be only a English Major. I also added a teaching certificate for the future. But now that I think about it I don’t want to get that certificate and be done with my career. I want to WRITE. I love to write so much and I want to write books. I just don’t know what or where to start. I love poetry but I also want to practice my prose. Not only do I want to be a creative writer but I also want to be a versatile one, where I can write articles and express opinions and issues and reviews. I want to be the best I can be at writing. It is my own way of express and enjoyment of who I am as a person, what my voice is trying to say.
I do and I don’t know what is going to happen.
But I do know that what I’m doing now I want to work hard at it.
What do you think? Where do you think you are in your life? Do you know what you want to do?
Much Love and Support
Newest song of the week comes from a soundtrack of a movie called Inherent Vice directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. I may have talked about this before, and I seen this movie a while ago but the song never fails.
Amethyst by Johnny Green Wood
From the moment I heard this song I fell in love with it, it really is something beautiful.
Give it a listen, give music a chance.
so it has been about two weeks since I have posted anything and it’s because I been caught up with enjoying the last few days in Japan to arriving back home in the states. Lately I am tired and scrambling about moving back to Austin and other paper documents that I don’t feel like thinking about. The only thing that anyone wants to do is just lay down all day.
I am definitely lacking good sleep. Where I am no one ever really lets me sleep well. It is also hot in my room and the light from the window is too strong. I will say that I did get to stay in bed till 2:30 with the exception of people calling me to ask if I was okay because of how late I slept. I just want to freaking sleep with no bother for once. Literally I am laying down “wishing” I could fall asleep.
But I want to get back at consistency. I am pretty drained and where I am right now I lack inspiration and motivation. Even my happiness goes down because of the negative energy in my house. I do have a lot in my mind but what better way to get through it than to write about it for express it in poetry and music.
But hey on a good note…there is internet and cable in this house! After 6-7 years of not having any connection to the cable-interent world, I finally have access.
I only have a week left in my hometown till I move into my new apartment!
So enjoy it while it lasts.
I hate thinking because then you start to fucking hate everything
It sucks pushing away feelings your whole life
Feelings of anything because you had to grow up fast while others had a better time
I had to grow up fast
You don’t understand
Hey Everyone! SOO Tyler the Creator just released a new album this month. This is literally the only thing I have been listening too! I also got interested in other songs of his from his past albums. I am serious, this albums makes me feel things. Like my heart is crying from how beautiful music is, in general. And I feel that Tyler has brought something into this world that I needed to hear and need to have. I’m even inspired to write more poetry with how I feel about these songs of Flower Boy.
These are the songs that have broken my repeat button
See You Again by Tyler The Creator
Another song that I love although it is sad is:
IFHY from the album WOLF
I have found a new artist that I love, and I think I will love fro a long time. Im excited to actually memorize lyrics to rap because these lyrics speak to me and my loner emotions. Let me know what songs are in your mind! Share this if you like these songs, if not then tell me a song I should listen to!
Give it a listen, give music a chance
whats in the foot
and suddenly stepped on the seed
the burr starts to grow and mold
Times in my mind
been thinking of weeds
Hey it has been a while since I have done one of these but I have been really into this this song lately and I can’t stop listening to it.
Lately I’ve been into Tyler The Creator and he has recently released some new songs and singles. These are ones that I have enjoyed
I really enjoy his music, its something different. It is actually something that I’ve been looking for, to listen too. It’s just the right amount of rap and music together.
Give it a listen, Give music a chance.
You make me better, you make it easy
before the kisses
even the voice
or thought of you
is as juicy and sweet
i sing a song for you baby
My morning/night was pretty weird I kept waking up and I think I may have gone through sleep paralysis. It actually happened twice that night. I ended up waking at 8:30 and around 11:40 we were all dressed and ready to go start the day at Okinawa World! Okinawa world is a theme park that explores Okinawa’s culture and showcases a snake show and even and underground natural cave. They had a bunch of little shops and areas to get food and refreshments. They had glass blowing, brewery, jewelry, fresh fruits market, and clothing-some even died from natural sugar cane stalks.
One thing that was common was that I was extremely hot and sweaty. The weather of course is very humid, but at one point the temperature dropped and it started raining. Luckily I was under a tarp watching a show of some rational dancers and singers. At one point one of the performers brought me up to the stage and made me inmate their dance until by my surprise I was bitten by the ancient Shisa Dog, known that a bite gives good lucky in your life. It was so nerve racking and surprising that I felt like I was going to stumble. I wish I could have gotten picture of that performance but we were allowed to take pictures of the main show. But I did take pictures of a lot of other things I saw.
These are some of the pictures I took in the cave
It was really nice to be underground in the cave. When you walked in the air felt cooler and all of the marble was dripping cool water everywhere you went. The whole place was damp and you would need to be extra careful where you stepped so you would not fall into the rocks or water. It felt so much better than being up top in the hotbox weather. After the cave we went up and looked around all of the little shops. I didn’t buy anything because tomorrow we’re are going to Kokusai street where there is a bunch of shops and things similar to what was in Okinawa World.
Here are some other pictures of me being a goof
Today was really amazing and eventful, I could not believe what I was seeing. It still seems very surreal to me, which is why I taken so many pictures, even pictures of myself to believe that I really was there.
If you like this post give it a like or comment, If you wish to see something poetry or music related please let me know! I want to write for all of you! Let me know how your summers are going! I wish every one a Good Morning, a Good Evening, and a Goodnight!
I am currently in Okinawa, Japan!
It has been a few days since I have posted anything but in my defense it’s been a tiring trip going from Texas to Japan. So in reality I am a day ahead than those in certain part of the United States, usually my fellow Texans!
The plane ride wasn’t too bad, but I will say it was extremely tiring. Just thinking about it makes me feel tired. I watched a lot of movies and tv shows and I slept some of the way. One of the flights was 12 hours, from Dallas to Tokyo. Arriving in the Tokyo Air port was so nerve racking! I had no idea where to go or what to go. But I managed to make it through by following signs and people. I got my first stamp on my passport! So I hopped on to another flight to Okinawa which took about 2 hours and a half. I felt so weird and tired, especially because of the time change. Also, I was sweating so much from the humidity.
This was the TV that I had for myself. But plane ride was still really tiring. But at least I got threes meals! The bathroom was right behind me which I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not. People always got up to go to the restroom, but I never had to get in a line because of my quick access.
I was SWEATING
So far it has been completely surreal with that I am seeing and experiencing. Theres so much to see and so much to do. I can’t wait to explore more and more of this beautiful place. It has been one of my dreams to go to Japan, now I can cross it off my list. This trips makes me so excited to plan other trips in the future.
These are some pictures from my first full day
I hope everyone is having a great and safe summer! I will post more of my adventures and such! For more pictures go check out my Instagram with the same name as the site. Here is one last picture of me by the water at a place called American Village!
It breaks me to hear how others call others
No one hardly ever asks
or even gives a second thought
i am happy when we can all be together
but the waves knock me over
till even the petty thought of acknowledgement
is past my time again
Excitement of changing-
experiencing some new air